Have you ever said to yourself, “What if I can’t do it?” or “I’m not ready for that!” or “Won’t people laugh at me?” These questions keep you mired in stagnation. They’re not good for you, and they’re not good for the people who look to you for support.
Losing your sense of self-doubt is one of the most important things you can do to move toward personal and professional success. But let’s face it: Doing so takes work! It’s all too easy to allow your inner doom loop to take over and spew phrases of self-doubt you’ve heard so often they feel like an immutable part of your personality.
But nothing is immutable. Change is possible.
Graduates of Klemmer’s Personal Mastery training have noted that it gave them space to recognize underlying beliefs holding them back and to escape the bonds of self-doubt. In place of these limiting ideas, people who have completed Personal Mastery and other Klemmer and Associates trainings have achieved greater peace of mind and greater scope to become the leaders they’ve always wanted to be.
Self-doubt is not only unproductive; it can be downright harmful. People who consistently struggle with doubts about their own abilities tend to be more anxious and less motivated. Negative self-talk and crippling self-doubt are associated with depression as well.
The worst thing about this situation is that all that doubt becomes a self-reinforcing system: When you doubt yourself, you fail to act, even when action is urgently needed. This failure to act brings with it feelings of shame and guilt. When consumed by these feelings, it becomes even harder to pull yourself out of all the negative self-talk, which initiates yet another cycle of doubt and inability to make healthy decisions.
Here are some powerful ways to break free of this vicious spiral.
Imperfect? Congratulations, you’re human!
Psychologists note that feelings of self-doubt are a normal part of being human—and so is feeling ashamed about your mistakes. However, it’s possible to acknowledge doubts and any mistakes you’ve made, then move on to absorb lessons learned from the experience. Instead of using your mistakes as an excuse to retreat from the contest and wallow in self-pity, use them as a springboard to learning, growing, and improving.
Give yourself permission to do things imperfectly. Whether it’s your new product or service, a creative effort you’ve always wanted to accomplish, or just forging positive relationships with those you care about, nothing will ever be perfect. Acknowledge this truth, step up, and give it your best effort anyway.
Start moving forward
Break down larger goals into smaller, more measurable tasks. Doing so will give you a series of milestones to celebrate as you achieve them and keep you feeling more grounded as you proceed.
Use positive self-talk to confront your doubts head-on. Seek the bravery within yourself, and call it forward. The more you practice being brave, the easier it will get.
The very act of pulling away from the gravitational force of self-doubt will get you started, even when you know your project cannot possibly measure up to your ideals. The thing is, if you commit to doing good things in the world, what you end up accomplishing will probably more than measure up to the needs of many people.
Find your buddies
Identify and nourish your support networks. It becomes harder to spiral in self-doubt when you’re accountable to others. Just like having workout buddies, self-confidence buddies are there to encourage you, challenge you when you need it, and keep you focused.
It’s time for a new story
Question your doubts—don’t blindly believe what they say. Doubts are likely just holdovers from a previous version of yourself, where you may have internalized the nay-saying voices of people around you. Fast-forward to the present you, and seek out ways to tap into the abundance of choices you now have all around you.
Tell yourself a new story about yourself. What if you really were smart, creative, and strong enough to accomplish your goals? Act as if you were, and you might be surprised to find yourself tapping into undiscovered resources within yourself. Base your new story on your willingness to strive, fall short of perfect, and pick yourself back up again, not only for your own benefit, but in order to help colleagues, family, friends, and the other people in life who depend on you.
Your mission is bigger than you
Maybe your personal mission involves building a business, moving up the ladder of leadership, or designing a new way of doing things. Whatever it is, it’s about more than your individual ego—what you’re trying to do could improve other people’s lives. It will have an impact beyond you. When you remember this, you can’t afford not to invest wholeheartedly in your own growth and success. Fear of risk starts to recede in the rearview mirror when you accept your responsibility for improving the world through your actions.
Make a commitment to change
Klemmer’s coaching programs are designed to help you confront your doubts and unproductive preconceived ideas. You learn more about where they came from and realize that they aren’t an adequate response to reality. Once you acknowledge, take responsibility for, and prepare to learn from your mistakes and unproductive behaviors, you give yourself space to initiate real change. As success builds on success, it becomes harder and harder for self-doubt to take root again.
One of poet William Blake’s best-known and most psychologically meaningful lines of verse says, “If the sun and moon should doubt, they’d immediately go out.”
If you’re ready to conquer your self-doubt and light a pathway to success for yourself and those who look to you for leadership, check out Klemmer’s two-and-a-half-day, in-person Personal Mastery training, intensive Heart of the Samurai course, and many other trainings. Unlike most other “self-improvement” methods, all are experientially based, hands-on, and designed to foster deep reflection and long-lasting change.
